i miss all of them, and also my beloved Jolinda, beauty Kasthuri and naughty Enthu-ers. without you all, the fun is all gone~
i was listening to some songs just now... i realised that some of the artist are either older than me by a few years, same age as me or even younger me... yet they are shining in the limelight like nobody's business... singing, dancing and acting... it seems to be a really happy that you are able to use your gift and talents to entertain others... but yet a tiring thing to do, after seeing reports of them going in and out of hospitals and clinics... sometimes after looking at them, i would wonder... why am i still here?? doing nothing... why can't i just be like them?? many have said i have the gifts... and should use it as it is a gift and shine for God... i know i can't just keep it to myself... but... it's not that i don't wanna show it to others or what... and i also don't know how... sometime i would also think... is it that "i don't know", "i hate eyes that keeps staring at me.." or "i don't have the guts?", "don't have the faith to do it?"... or "i don't have the confidence to do it?", "maybe people will laugh and talk at my back?" maybe i like to contradict myself a little too much... i think that's how the devil work, maybe... maybe that's why i only know how to hide behind my humble camera and continue to neglect the other gift.... meitong, vann, steph, nic and i think almost all the sisters had asked me to like use my gift and all... musos recruitment, choir... *sigh*... i don't know.............. ...................................